"A Cultural Approach to Male-Female Miscommunication" by Daniel N. Matlz and Ruth A. Borker

This article was also pretty accurate according to my own experiences. I thought it was interesing how they explained that women are far more likely to ask questions and carry the responsibility of keeping a conversation going. I have found myself doing this multiple times, especially when I'm meeting new people. This article also expressed the same notion as Tannen's article, that women are more likely to use pronouns such as "we" and "us" whereas a man is less likely. The thing that struck a chord deeply with me from this article was the concept of "delayed minimal responses". This has been a source of frustration and sometimes humor throughout my two years of marriage. If my husband and I are discussing something or if one of us is upset, he has a tendency to not respond or say anything at all. Sometimes I go on talking or "expressing my feelings", and when he decides to speak, he'll resond to something I said fifteen minutes before. While at times it is extremely frustrating, it's extremely humorous after the fact because men and women communicate SO differently! It's amazing that men an women found a way to communicate at all. It really does take an honest effort to learn the in's and out's of female-male communication.

"Talk in the Intimate Relationship: His and Hers" by Deborah Tannen

I found this article to be strikingly similar to my own life experiences. I have found that the author was absolutely right about a woman's tendency to pick up on "metamessages" rather than what is concretely said in a conversation. I got to speak to my husband about this article, and he agreed as well. It's interesting that couples are constantly arguing and discussing how they argue and discuss, rather than the actual issue at hand. I can't count the times I've said to my husband, "It wasn't what you said, it was how you said it."

I also think it's interesting that the author partly attributes this to the way we were conditioned as we grew up. She says that girls play mostly with other girls and vice versa with boys. I grew up the oldest girl with four younger sisters, and two brothers. We considered our house a "girl" house, and all of our "communicating" and open emotions probably did cause me to become more attuned to hidden meaning in conversation. I am constantly telling my husband that tone of voice, inflection, facial expression, and body language mean everything in a conversation. Whereas, more practically speaking, he'd rather me listen to what he was actually saying instead of the way he is saying it.

The other thing I thought was interesting was the difference between what men and women consider "listening". Head nods, "mmm-hmms" and "yeah's" mean "Yes, I'm listening" to a women but they may mean "I agree with you" to a man. This has truly opened my eyes! It makes so much sense why a man may seem more unresponsive while a woman is explaining something. He is listening, just not necessarily whole-heartedly agreeing yet. It is good for men to understand also that women are expressing that they are listening, not necessarily that they agree.

Men Speak One Way, Women Speak Another

While reading Yanyuwa: Men speak one way, women speak another by John Bradley, I found myself getting a little frustrated. It seems very strange that there would be a different dialect for men and women. However, the thing that frustrated me was the idea that male children consistently grow up and learn with the female dialect because women are raising them and taking care of them, but then all of the sudden are expected to speak the male dialect. I understand that culturally, it is an acceptable idea and it is forced, but it sounds so complicated to me to actually do. It made me sad that speaking the incorrect dialect would bring shame on them. Despite my frustration with this idea, the fact that there are different dialects does shed some light on the notion that men and women really do speak differently. It is interesting to me that the Yanyuwa people can't necessarily explain why there are two different dialects, it is simply the way it has always been. It makes me pause to think about how many things we do in my life, family, and culture just because "that's the way it's always been".

Due to the time period and generation I have grown up in, it's strange to consider the inequality that has existed, and does still exist, between men and women. The two different dialects among the Yanyuwa certainly do accent the gender differences and the chasm that exists in positions of prominence, power and influence. Most of what our society does currently is try to diminish those differences and strive for equality. It's strange to think that something so prevalent and imperative as language could, in and of itself, highlight the differences between male and female. I wonder if the Yanyuwa are happy this way, or if women feel subordinate to men. I guess if it "has always been that way", one possibly wouldn't notice.

What's Gender Got to Do With Grammar?

As I began reading through the material for Linguistics, I have to admit that I have never considered the gender implications that exist. In the article What's Gender Got to Do With Grammar by Suzanne Romaine, she describes her observations about the gender biases within several different languages. I thought it was very interesting when she discussed the gender biases in the French language in regards to positions that used to be predominately held by men. It is mind-boggling to think that there is no possible way to refer to a female professor in French without being grammatically incorrect. It is far more difficult to deny that gender has much to do with grammar when one considers this example. In order to explain, one would be obligated to rectify the inconsistency in their grammar. It would be impossible not to notice.

It was even more saddening to me that in German, a "maiden" is actually a gender-neutral term. It seems that, at one point, females were considered on the same level as property or material goods.

The other thing I was interested in was the idea that weather patterns are generally described in female or feminine terms. This has always bothered me, so I am glad that I have finally heard someone bring it up. I detest the generalization that all women are likened to violent hurricanes or something of that sort. This is most likely because as a child, my extended family found it humorous to call me "the hurricane", but it is very obvious that nature and weather patterns are often described with stereotypes of female behavior.

I also thought the idea that the gender biases that exist in regards to land and territory possibly have much to do with the fact that women were once viewed as something to be conquered or broken.